Emily burnt like the cigarette between her shivering fingers. She was shivering head to toe as she sat next to the window, looking outside at the lonely park. It was a cold breezy night.
She casually thought about her first meeting with Ed. So passionate, that they did not wait for a second chance to kiss. It was again a cold night. She was wearing a light jacket that couldn’t resist the rude weather.
‘One can’t trust the Belgian weather.’ Ed said, as he smiled looking at her sparkling eyes. That was his first conversation with Emily. ‘One can’t trust a man’s mind’, she now thought.
As Emily searched for the pack of cigarettes for the next smoke, she could see a young lad staring at her, not realizing that she was not there at the window for a catch late in the night. She looked at him for a while and looked away at the sleeping urban jungle.
Cities are not so scary like the countryside at night, where Emily grew up. They are beautifully illuminated even at night though you can expect the worst nightmare. But the first night with Ed was not scary but memorable, like rest of the days and nights that followed. Those days were very beautiful that their six year old son, Mathew was now silently sleeping in Emily’s bedroom, believing his mother was sleeping close to him.
Emily felt her tears rolling down her cheeks. But when she tried to wipe it off, she realized there were no tears. She was not left with enough energy to cry more. She had cried all her life till now, after Ed had left Emily and Mathew when he was just six months old. He had not ditched both of them, but had gone to follow his dreams to become an accomplished writer.
Emily visited bookshops regularly to search for the name, ‘Edward John’ among the new comers list. She even tried in the best selling lists restlessly, if she had missed his previous books. But never found Ed’s name or books. She had been sighing, weeping and crying since then.
‘Let me write my first thoughts ever. Hope you will like it, Ed.’ Emily thought while she walked to the dining table. Everything was ready for her to start writing. Papers and pen had been set long since she had been thinking of writing to Ed.
Emily had been waiting for the right moment to begin that creative process. And finally, here it was! It was a cold, breezy and silent night. Everything was perfect now.
Emily took the pen and began writing, a task which had never tried before.
Dear Ed,
Here is my first ever writing, only for you.
You always wanted to be my first lover.
I wanted you to be my last lover.
I played passionately and won.
I love you
Yours forever,
Emily
While Emily wrote her name, her hand was shivering and weak, not because of the freezing night, this time. She was bleeding to death while her right hand drenched in blood. Emily was soaked to her skin in red making her beautiful face, pale now.
She played and won passionately. Indeed.
I have never understood
I feel the bliss here.
'Come, let's play again.
I watched him eat his chocolate all by himself.
I feel calm and peaceful now.
For, 
