Why do I dream about a future ???!!!
When there is none at all !!!

Why do I try to forget my past ???!!!
When that’s all what is left now !!!

Why do I not live in the present ???!!!
When all advise me to do so !!!

Wish someone understood
what I’m going through now …

My past attracts me like a magnet.
My present is numb like my mind.
My future is a road in the woods leading me no where !!!

It is summer …
And I was washing
dishes yesterday, after lunch.

I spotted an ant on a washed
plate that was left to dry.
I killed it with a tissue,
the next moment.
Then, I thought.
I should have carefully
taken it on that tissue
and set it free outside my window.

But I dint do that
and killed a life, instead.
So I cried,
Thinking how cruel I was.

I killed a life.
I cried thinking
how human I’m!

My eyes filled with tears.

Sometimes I feel,
I even forgot to speak.

Words flow out only
in black and white.

I’ve forgotten my voice.

I feel strange
hearing my own voice,
when I speak the occasional
“Yes’s” and “No’s” !!!