M(utually) A(ssured) D(estruction) !!!

Metamorphose

2011-04-12T14:23:00.000-07:00

I cannot afford to cry ...
I cannot even sob in the
silence of my bedroom ...

I've to be strong ...
Or show the world that I'm bold ...
Or more importantly
that I'm a heartless bitch ...

But do not believe
that I'm weak ... I'm bold.
As being weak and caring for others
din't really serve the purpose all these years.

Until recently, I was a girl confused
of the practicalities and unrealistic modes of life.
Fully driven by emotions that screwed me up to the core!

So I decided to change myself.
To transform into something new
that I never knew I could be.

So friends, here is the metamorphosis of a girl ...
I'm a heartless bitch now !!!

... ... ... At least in front of some.

.... Recap ....

2011-04-07T11:10:00.000-07:00

I saw you.
I looked at you.
I looked away.

My heart trembled.
I looked again.
This time, you were staring at me.
I couldn't breathe.
I looked away.

I wanted to come to you.
I wanted to tell you how badly
I loved you all these years.
But when you spoke to me,
all I could ask was 'how are you?'

I had almost lost hope.
That's when you appeared in front of me.
I was on a time machine.
Back to the days I loved the most.

It was an experience.
I knew it.
It is still an experience.
Now I know it!!!

2010-04-12T18:44:00.000-07:00

While I lay on my bed
pondering over her vibrant paintings,
I sensed the unseen rays of
intense emotions that remitted
through the canvases into my conscience !

And I said.

"Señora Frida,

usted me inspira a que viva
en sufrimientos con todo prospere
en vida a través de poesía y de pinturas !"***

................

*** (Spanish)
Madam Frida, You inspire me to live in sufferings yet flourish life through poetry and paintings !

2010-02-22T00:30:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to
stitch my wounded heart.
It's painful
and I can't do it anymore.

I will have to leave it open,
for the germs to eat my wound.

Still the pain will be there,
causing slow and horrifying death.

My wounds open,
my grieves exposed.
I wish I were
anesthetized by your love,
my wound was stitched,
to be healed forever !

2010-02-21T17:10:00.001-08:00

A little poem that I wrote for my Darshhh, about the red flower she clicked the other day.

As red as a flower,
I could just see the redness.
Yes, the redness of that
thing called 'flower.'

Redness that stands for
a feeling called 'love'
or
Redness that stands for blood ???!!
I pity the flower for being 'red'
For it never knew,
I would create such a goof about it !!!

'Better' things !!

2010-02-21T09:07:00.000-08:00

I've better things to do,
rather than fighting with you !!!

I've better things to do
like missing you ...

I've better things to do
like cherishing memories of us both ....

I've better things to do
like crying when you do things not acceptable ...

I've better things to do
when you give me reasons to hate
and I try to love you more and more !!!

So this is it !!!

I've better things to do
rather than fighting with you !!!

2010-01-25T01:42:00.001-08:00

I got hurt today.

It’s good to get hurt at times.

That lets you know

how happy you were.

2010-01-09T22:13:00.000-08:00

I talked about you
to a friend for hours.
He was a good listener…

I told about our tales
the whole night …
And now I’m suffering the loss !

Why did I do that ?
I knew that you will disturb me again
Still, I couldn’t stop.

And that’s why I kept
you locked in a hidden
chamber deep inside my heart…
Never!!!
Never ever to be opened
and to be forgotten.

But the past unfolded
And now I’m searching
for the lost key to lock you in again !!!

2010-01-09T21:17:00.000-08:00

Feeling heavy...
I guess,
my heart weighs a ton now !

You thought my heart was stuffed
with grief and pain ???!!

It's just empty!!!
And it's my emptiness
that is this heavy !

Missing …

Christmas message ...

2009-12-21T05:20:00.000-08:00

London is covered in snow…
Christmas is around the corner …
I believe Christmas stands for goodness
And the snow is covering everything bad
Keeping them underneath until Christmas is over!
Now let us all enjoy giving and taking gifts,
chocolates, wine, hug and kisses
Let us enjoy the Christmas lunch with family,
forgetting the worries and intolerance for each other …
And when the snow melts…
when Christmas is over …
we will be out of this illusion..
and back to the practical world
paying interests for many credit cards
on which we did the Christmas shopping!!!

2009-11-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

I searched for true love.
Knocked on every door, but failed.

People said,
"True love is good only in books."

I continue my search ...
For I still feel
true love should be real!

And I continue my search ...
For I still feel
true love makes one complete!

I want to be complete.
So I continue my search ...

2009-11-14T07:19:00.000-08:00

I'm a dreamer.
You are an opportunist of my dreams.

But I love it.
For you make me dream more...

2009-10-25T01:46:00.000-07:00

Somethings are too obvious.
But not so obvious, he thinks!
Why does he make it not obvious
but is very obvious in real?!

Aaahh! He thinks I'm a fool?
I obviously know to behave not
too obvious that he is clean obvious!!!

And he got upset
everytime when I asked?
Atlast I heard it from him...
The hidden 'obviousness'!!!

2009-10-01T10:31:00.000-07:00

I'm trying best to
keep myself so busy that
I've no time to think !

Still the chilled weather
is easily turning my mind cold.
So cold that I'm numb now !

Wish I could be numb forever ...
So that the tears can't flow down ...

Wish the day was over long back ...
So that I could again try and
win over time some day until I succeed !!!

2009-09-27T08:05:00.000-07:00

I'm seeing a lot of
weird people these days.

They talk of unpleasant ideas
that does touch my heart
but not my thoughts !

I closely watched them;
tried my best to grasp them.
But still they say,
I'm no better than an alien
landed from an unknown world.

Foreign to their thoughts n emotions.
I felt foreign as well and doubted myself.

Seeing those strange people,
now I feel strange about myself.

2009-07-28T04:37:00.001-07:00

Why do I dream about a future ???!!!
When there is none at all !!!

Why do I try to forget my past ???!!!
When that’s all what is left now !!!

Why do I not live in the present ???!!!
When all advise me to do so !!!

Wish someone understood
what I’m going through now …

My past attracts me like a magnet.
My present is numb like my mind.
My future is a road in the woods leading me no where !!!

2009-07-17T20:06:00.000-07:00

It is summer …
And I was washing
dishes yesterday, after lunch.

I spotted an ant on a washed
plate that was left to dry.
I killed it with a tissue,
the next moment.
Then, I thought.
I should have carefully
taken it on that tissue
and set it free outside my window.

But I dint do that
and killed a life, instead.
So I cried,
Thinking how cruel I was.

I killed a life.
I cried thinking
how human I’m!

2009-07-15T14:59:00.000-07:00

My eyes filled with tears.

Sometimes I feel,
I even forgot to speak.

Words flow out only
in black and white.

I’ve forgotten my voice.

I feel strange
hearing my own voice,
when I speak the occasional
“Yes’s” and “No’s” !!!

2009-06-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

I'm happy.
And you make me cry.

I'm happy.
And you make me cry again.

It still goes on ...

It seems like you
don't want me to be happy at all.

One day, very soon,
I'll make you cry, forever...

And then, I'll become happy, forever.

So beware! I feel the day is not so far.

2009-06-25T15:02:00.001-07:00

People ask questions
not to know more about you..

But to let you know
they know all about you !

2009-06-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

I gave my heart to him.

And he lost it somewhere.

Since then, I'm on the

search for it. To get it back.

Hope I will find it soon.

Or I'll have to become

heartless from now on.

The choice is mine

for he doesn't care about it anymore!

2009-06-21T10:01:00.001-07:00

I cried today.
All because of you.

Because of the way
you smiled at me,
making me feel that
I'm not in your heart anymore !

2009-06-21T09:34:00.000-07:00

You don't know the

deep and dark voidness I'm in.

Even if you knew,

there is nothing you could do.

So why should I let you know?!

2009-06-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

You are out of it.
I could feel it.

But I'm going deep into it ...
the more I feel it.

Myself to be blamed !

2009-06-21T09:29:00.000-07:00

I enjoy my loneliness now.
I spend time with your thoughts.
There is none to interrupt me.
Not even you.

I enjoy my loneliness with you …
without your presence !

2009-06-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

'It's hard to meet you as a stranger.'
You said once.

And now you behave
as if I don't exist at all.

2009-06-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

Don't give me that sarcastic smile !

I know you are smiling or
even laughing at me now.

I've to admit.
I'm a fool that
I've fallen in love !

You told me once.
"You don't even know me!"

You have only seen
that side of love.
Knowing each other well
and then falling in love
or rather entering a pact of love.

But there's another side to love.

And that's why it's widely known as
'falling in love.'

But you would never know that
because you have never 'fallen in love'!

2009-06-18T17:14:00.000-07:00

I'm surrendering,
for I can't win my heart back.
I've played and lost the game with you !

2009-06-18T17:08:00.000-07:00

My friend said.

"If I were a guy, I would

have snatched you from him.

And given you a baby.

And sent you for PTA meetings."

I laughed.

Then I thought.

'Good that you are not a guy.

For I would have lost you as a lover.

Atleast you are there as a friend.'

2009-06-18T11:14:00.000-07:00

It's not as hard as I thought.

This multi-tasking !

My trials to forget you
and of cherishing you
at the same time.

2009-06-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

You closed the doors.

Just seeing me outside.

I was only passing by.

Never intended to come in

and stay with you.

For you had already told me

Not to expect anything more !

2009-06-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

You became a bait

for my thoughts.

And my words !

I feel sorry for you.

2009-06-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

It's sunny again.

Everything seems perfect.

Like I never met you.

But I know

there is an imperfection

in that perfection!

2009-06-16T12:26:00.001-07:00

I remember.

That day you felt bad
to drop me at some stop
because you were late for office.

Another day you dint
feel bad to stop calling
me just like that.

And I felt bad!

2009-06-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

I never woke up next to you.
But I did.

I never shared a dessert with you.
But I did.

I never watched movies cuddling with you.
But I did.

I never went for long drives with you.
But I did.

I never did a million things with you.
But I did.

Yes. I did it all
in my secret thoughts.
I did it all in my secret world!

2009-06-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

Oscar Wilde said:

'Prayer must never be answered:
if it is, it ceases to be prayer and
becomes correspondence.'

So I do not pray anymore.

2009-06-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

The 'HE' has changed finally.
But why is the 'I' not changed?!

Still can't figure out!

2009-06-15T11:19:00.001-07:00

I've made enough reasons

not to think about you.

I'm sick of finding reasons now.

For all I do is think about you.

Now I should try something different.

So that I stop brooding over you.

2009-06-15T11:10:00.000-07:00

I'm far from you.

Still feel close to you.

Is it my fault?

You came like a hurricane

and swept away my heart,

leaving my soul in the ruins.

Now you come like a lazy

breeze, to keep a check on me.

To see me smile at you

when I'm actually suffering from the loss!

2009-06-15T11:08:00.000-07:00

I had a hair-cut.
And to my surprise
you too had a hair-cut.

You were looking nice.
But you never
bothered at my new look.

Neither of us wanted
to show each other anymore.

Or where we
trying to show that
we are happy in our own lives?!

2009-06-14T15:49:00.001-07:00

I hate BMW's.

There are too many here.

They are everywhere I go.

Never noticed it before !

2009-06-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

It seems the sun doesn't
want to go down here.

It's still shining brightly
like my hopes in life !
And I feel wonderful
seeing the sun, smiling at me.

I know it is trying
to make me smile too.

2009-06-11T17:09:00.001-07:00

This is the chocolate mousse

you said, you would make for me.

I never had a chance to have it.

But I must say.

'It's delicious!

So were the moments

we spent together.'

2009-06-11T16:32:00.000-07:00

You are just a child.
You don’t know the
art of avoidance!
When your words
blocked your voice,
I realized it!

Do you remember?
I dint let you explain
for I knew, that would be hard for you.

If you don’t know how to avoid,
look at me, I will show you.
I’ve practiced it
for years, though I dint wish to.
It’s an art where you hurt yourself.
I’ve mastered it over the years!

It’s not easy, I’m telling you.
The art of Avoidance !!!

2009-06-11T16:25:00.000-07:00

Some are very practical in life.
And some don’t know what it is!

It is said,
those who are practical
succeed in life, forgetting the past.
.
.
.
.
And those who are not,
fill their blogs with
childish cries and
despair filled words.

Big Deal!
The damage is done.
So why can’t I have the liberty
to fill my own blog.

Atleast, I don’t have to ask you.

2009-06-11T16:18:00.000-07:00

I pressed my nose
on the pillow to get your smell.
But in vain, reminiscing
the fragrance of your sweaty hair.
I pressed my hands
on my heart to suppress the grief.
But in vain, holding your
memories in myself.

I pressed my lips
on each other to hold my cries.
But in vain, sobbing
like a child on your rejection.

I became the culprit.
And you became the good boy.
Well, this had to happen
sooner or later !

2009-06-11T05:18:00.000-07:00

I have a heart.
Perhaps like your's.

You treated me
like a friend initially.
But never knew
would forget me as a stranger!

I too get hurt.
Perhaps more than you.
But it's fine.
I will deal with it.

For I don't want
to give you more pressures.

2009-06-11T04:23:00.000-07:00

It's so easy to see, meet,

fall in love and then break up...

Never knew it was so easy..

Atleast for you !

2009-06-09T10:36:00.001-07:00

It rained here heavily today.

No one knew it was the

tears I shed for him.

Oh! It doesn't matter,

for he too din't know !

Let it rain..

Till I feel calm.

2009-06-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

I saw a bajaj scooter
passing by today.
A very rare sight on the
cobbled streets of Brussels.
A man with his daughter
was on it, her little hands
tightly around his waist.

My dad too, has a bajaj scooter.
The one in which I've had
a lot of incredible rides.

It is still there, parked
on a corner of my house.
Not used very often now.
When my new black car
took over the garage,
it silently wept, I guess.
But I still miss that bajaj scooter
and the rides with my dad,
tightly holding my hands
around his waist !!!

2009-06-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

I smiled looking

at his childlike face.

I simply smiled.

He asked me

why I was smiling?

I simply smiled again.

Why do you have

to ask me this everytime?

There are a million hidden

dreams and feelings in those smiles.

Those are things I'll never tell you ...

For I know, you are not mine.

So just see me smile

looking at your childlike face.

2009-05-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

I haven't watched

TV since yesterday...

I haven't read the

newspapers since yesterday...

I wouldn't dare to

for I do not want to see

your soulless body,

your frozen blue face!

Let me remember you

as my dearest 'aami' ...

I remember your twinkling eyes..

I remember your smell..

I remember your embrace..

I remember your words..

I remember your smiles..

I remember your naughty comments...

I remember everything about you!

I cried for hours

and it made me feel better.

I've missed you all these years.

I will miss you all coming years.

2009-05-28T07:04:00.000-07:00

I hate the corporate world.
Oh God!
Please don't push me into it.
I have never understood
the agendas, targets,
diplomacy or politics.
I do not wish to understand them.

Let me be happy in my world
where words come alive,
birds play around me,
flowers allure me with it's fragnance,
where dreams come alive
and urge me to write...
I feel the bliss here.
I'm happy here.
Oh God!
Please dont snatch this amazing world from me.

2009-05-28T06:33:00.000-07:00

We played a game.
We set the rules too.

'Why did you get worried?
I know the rules,
I haven't forgotten them.'
(Though I would love to!)
'Come, let's play again.
So that I see your
excitement like a small boy.
But I must say,
you are tempting me
to forget the rules.'

Maybe he knew it.
Because he din't come
to play with me again!

Chocolates

2009-05-27T06:41:00.001-07:00

He offered me a chocolate.

I said, 'No, Thanks.'

'But you love chocolates?!' he said

'Yes, I do.' And I did not explain.

I watched him eat his chocolate all by himself.
I did not feel tempted.

(I wanted to laugh)

But I just smiled.

I simply thought to myself.

"Did he not know that

the things you love the most

should be enjoyed very slowly?

If I have it all day and night,

I will stop loving it.

And I want to enjoy chocolates forever! "

2009-05-26T17:01:00.000-07:00

I sense something fishy.
Or is that I don't have the
mere common sense to grasp his thoughts?!

Aahh! it seems I don't have
the sensibility to sense
even the most intelligible ideas!

..that senseless I've become.

If I want...

2009-05-26T04:53:00.000-07:00

I can call you now.

I can text you.

Type and send msgs like...

'I love you'

'I miss you'

'I can't live without you'

'Kisses'

'Hugs'

'Yours forever'

But I wont.

Because ...

only your number is familiar to me now.

You've become unfamiliar to me.

But I still cherish the familiar 'you' in me.

2009-05-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

I lost my 'self ' long back.

A monster, I became.
Insane to the core.
Yelling and cribbing
my head on small things.
Loosing temper so quickly
that I could not control.

I was not like this.
I remember.

I feel calm and peaceful now.
I can see my 'self ' on the mirror.

I'm at peace..... ... .. .

2009-05-25T07:46:00.000-07:00

I feel like writing a million lines about you, but I will not.

You know it all.

Today I discovered... 'I'm beautiful!'

Thanks to you... I felt it after years !

2009-05-21T19:39:00.000-07:00

I wish ...

I did not have to see

jets crawling in the sky.

I wish ...

they did not leave white trails

for me to stare for hours.

Even if I had to see them,

why can't they vanish in a wink?!

I miss home !!!

2009-05-21T18:28:00.000-07:00

He called me a saddist.

I did not deny.For,

I enjoy pleasure in pain.

But he never understood

I enjoy the pleasure in my pain.

Not other's !!!

Passion

2009-05-21T17:12:00.000-07:00

Emily burnt like the cigarette between her shivering fingers. She was shivering head to toe as she sat next to the window, looking outside at the lonely park. It was a cold breezy night.
She casually thought about her first meeting with Ed. So passionate, that they did not wait for a second chance to kiss. It was again a cold night. She was wearing a light jacket that couldn’t resist the rude weather.

‘One can’t trust the Belgian weather.’ Ed said, as he smiled looking at her sparkling eyes. That was his first conversation with Emily. ‘One can’t trust a man’s mind’, she now thought.

As Emily searched for the pack of cigarettes for the next smoke, she could see a young lad staring at her, not realizing that she was not there at the window for a catch late in the night. She looked at him for a while and looked away at the sleeping urban jungle.

Cities are not so scary like the countryside at night, where Emily grew up. They are beautifully illuminated even at night though you can expect the worst nightmare. But the first night with Ed was not scary but memorable, like rest of the days and nights that followed. Those days were very beautiful that their six year old son, Mathew was now silently sleeping in Emily’s bedroom, believing his mother was sleeping close to him.

Emily felt her tears rolling down her cheeks. But when she tried to wipe it off, she realized there were no tears. She was not left with enough energy to cry more. She had cried all her life till now, after Ed had left Emily and Mathew when he was just six months old. He had not ditched both of them, but had gone to follow his dreams to become an accomplished writer.

Emily visited bookshops regularly to search for the name, ‘Edward John’ among the new comers list. She even tried in the best selling lists restlessly, if she had missed his previous books. But never found Ed’s name or books. She had been sighing, weeping and crying since then.

‘Let me write my first thoughts ever. Hope you will like it, Ed.’ Emily thought while she walked to the dining table. Everything was ready for her to start writing. Papers and pen had been set long since she had been thinking of writing to Ed.

Emily had been waiting for the right moment to begin that creative process. And finally, here it was! It was a cold, breezy and silent night. Everything was perfect now.

Emily took the pen and began writing, a task which had never tried before.

Dear Ed,

Here is my first ever writing, only for you.

You always wanted to be my first lover.
I wanted you to be my last lover.

I played passionately and won.

I love you

Yours forever,

Emily

While Emily wrote her name, her hand was shivering and weak, not because of the freezing night, this time. She was bleeding to death while her right hand drenched in blood. Emily was soaked to her skin in red making her beautiful face, pale now.

She played and won passionately. Indeed.

Freeeeeeze

2009-05-21T15:16:00.000-07:00

I wish ...

everyone else froze
for a few minutes,

So that ...

I could hug you tightly
and kiss your lips passionately !

2009-05-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

I cried today.

Not because
I was missing him.

Not because
I was lonely.

Not because
I was wasting days.

Not because
I wanted to release my tensions.

Not because
I was away from my goals.

Not because
I wanted to break free from relations.

But I cried.

Cried because
I felt like crying !!!

2009-05-20T12:16:00.000-07:00

'Dream is an illusion'

Who said so?!
I'm telling you...

Dream is an illusion for
those who can't dream in life !!!

For me,
dreams show a parallel world
where I'm happy always...

No matter whatever
worst happens around !!!

2009-05-19T20:45:00.000-07:00

I think I'm in love with you.
But you dont have to worry.

I can handle it by myself!

(I meant, you don't have

to run away from me.)

2009-05-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

Long ago...

there lived an old man.

People called him 'insane'

For he slept on the streets

and had no worries still.

He lived with the 'cents'

thrown at him by the rich.

On a bright sunny day,

he was watching a couple.

He smiled at them,

and sang a love song.

A little girl came upto him

and asked, "What is love?"

He carelessly replied:

'They say love has no boundaries.

Yes, it has no boundaries when one

asks for commitment in love.

So dear, choose a man who has

love and boundaries in life !!!'

2009-04-29T15:42:00.000-07:00

I'm tired.

I'm tired of writing about you...

But I still,

fill my blog about you...

I still keep on writing about you...

Because, this is all what is left now!!!

Atleast, let me enjoy writing ((about you!!!))

2009-04-28T03:46:00.000-07:00

It was a bright and sunny morning in the year 1985.
A little boy was impatient in front of the operation theatre.
He looked more anxious than his dad,
for his mom had promised him a special gift very soon.

And at about 10.45am,
he heard a disturbing,

loud cry of a baby inside the room.
He held his dad’s hands tightly.

A few minutes later,

a nurse opened the door and

brought a white wrap of cloth.
He couldn’t see what was in it,
so the boy stretched his legs

and tried his best to get a glance.
That’s when his dad took the wrap of cloth

and showed it to him.

There it was…
His gift from mom!

Wrapped in white cotton cloth,
Tiny eyes closed and alseep,
Tiny hands folded and close to chest,
Curly hair, black and fallen on her forehead,
Her face so soft and red,
There she was lying, his gift!

His angel!!!

The little boy couldn’t stop his smile.
He was afraid to touch her.
Slowly, he bent and kissed her on the forehead.
The first touch of love,
she got from the unfamiliar world!

And so…..
I WAS BORN!!!

Eyes

2009-04-17T13:19:00.000-07:00

Eyes...

Sparkling!

People attracted

by my sparkling eyes...

They stared

with a 'wow' on their lips,

when I passed by.

I tried not to

look straight but down.

But the sunny day

made my eyes more sparkling.

A girl came up to me

to know the secret

behind my magic eyes.

So I asked her.

"Have you ever fallen in love?"

She gestured a 'no'

with her head.

Then I said.

"I'm sorry, dear.

Then you can't have sparkling eyes.

It's a gift from God to people who have lost their love."

As she stood clueless,

I walked away trying to

hold the tears from rolling down

from my eyes as always !

2009-04-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

Muje thumse mohabat ho gayi he....

Hmmmm !!!!

'Venice'

2009-04-15T03:40:00.000-07:00

Beautiful and romantic

as people call it.

I was searching for my lost

memories of my lost love

on the thin and

confusing lanes of Venice.

I wished to go in a 'gondola'

where we could see the horizon,

where no one else would

disturb our peace of love,

where we could enjoy

the sun and the cold breeze together,

where we could kiss passionately.

But I was lost...

on the thin lanes of Venice.

And my love...

was lost long back !!!

But I thank God

for my hallucinations.

For, I enjoy it !!!

I'm hurt....

2009-04-14T12:10:00.000-07:00

to know someone is suffering.

Inspite of his trials to hide,

I got to know his pain.

And, it hurts !!!

Perhaps, he din't want

me to share his pain.

Oh God ! Tell him,

I share his joys and sorrows uninvited.

That's my destiny !!!

2009-04-07T09:44:00.000-07:00

I love fighting with you...

so that i can get a warm hug

when it ends !!!

But is this really I want in life ??!!

That question doesn't make any sense.

Don't you think?!

But I know the answer to that.

And that's hidden reason behind every fight !!!

I'm sick...

2009-02-27T00:06:00.000-08:00

I'm sick of not loving you

But

I'm sick because I'm loving you

so intensely day and night!!!

When it snowed......

2009-02-09T17:29:00.000-08:00

And it snowed finally...

I stepped out into the lawn

to make a snowman

as everyone did that...

I made a wonderful snowman.

Named it Bob!!!

Dont ask me why?!

Becoz even I dont know!! ;)

He became my best buddy

in a very few hours.

He taught me to make

flying angels on the snow..

He taught me to love the taste of

snow flakes settling on my frozen tongue..

I kissed his cold chubby cheeks..

We talked for hours while

I was polishing him..

I had hell lot of fun until I sneezed!

I had to get inside now.

I was so tired that

I almost forgot about my buddy Bob

for a whole night.

And woke up to see

his head rolled down

with his carrot nose buried in ice

and the red cap with red lights on it,

that I gifted him

no longer glittering as it ran out of batteries.

I looked through the window

while I was making

my first cup of coffee that morning.

Suddenly my vision blurred..

Was it raining??!!!

Oh! Never mind,

It was my tears! (Sighhhhhhh!!!!!)

The one song I would listen till I die!!!

2009-01-06T16:47:00.000-08:00

For my soulmate.

Ice broken!!!

2009-01-06T11:17:00.000-08:00

Today,

is a very important day for me.

The ice is finally broken.

Love will not melt.

I want it to stay like that forever.

Like a floating ice berg.

Let it not stand at one place.

Let it move around dancing

with the music of wind.

Let it be like that forever

for next incarnations to come.

Even if appears small,

it's deep and emormous inside.

I feel calm now,

though overwhelmed with emotions.

Finally, the ice is broken!!!!!!

Mood Swings!!!

2009-01-05T16:37:00.000-08:00

Oh!! I just hate this.
When will I get over these mood swings!!!

£%^£*$^%$(&%&(^&*%*%^£%£"^$&^%$%^&%&%£%
I feel like a pendulum now.

Here I go...

Left to right..
left to right..
left to right..
left to right..
left to right..
left to right..

OR

Right to left??!!
right to left..
right to left..
right to left..
right to left..

like a pendulum.!!!

Letters from my favourite authors

2009-01-05T16:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Lakshmi,

Thank you so much for your lovely mail - it's always so encouraging to get praise directly from readers - especially those who have liked one of my books enough to re-read it, as you have done!
I was also very pleased to hear about your work in Karunalayam, which must have brought you immense satisfaction.
Do read my other books too when you have the time - or wait for the new one which will be out in summer 2009. There will be a launch in London so, if you think you may be able to come up from Harrow, do please email me again in June and I will send you an invitation.
In the meantime, my best wishes to you,

Jaishree Mishra

Dear Lakshmi,

I hope that this message finds you in high spirits, as I was when Ireceived yours. I thank you for your kind words and inspiration.The Warrior of light concentrates on the small miracles of daily life.

Paulo Coelho

*** Ancient Promises by Jayshree Mishra and Paulo Coelho's Brida are my favourite books.

"BRIDAISM"

2009-01-05T13:57:00.000-08:00

peter ivan said...
got a new term bridaism, i feel we love magic and in each one of us there is a magician

In reply to the comment on Brida...

"BRIDAISM"

A great coinage!!!
You are right that

in each one of us

there is a magician.

So hope we work that magic

for the good

of humanity and the world!!!
My magic wand is drawing circles

in the air recently!!!

Hope it creates a big change in my life!!!

and in the lives of people surrounding me.

Brida.....

2009-01-05T10:08:00.000-08:00

I'm brida...

Since I read the book

I feel like her...

I live like her...

I think like her...

Is this a Bridasyndrome???!!!

(I really doubt.)

Anyways, I enjoy this hallucination.

Thankx to Paulo for this wonderful work.!!!

Happy New Year!!!

2009-01-04T09:23:00.000-08:00

Happy new year all..
I wish you all success and happiness this year..
May you achieve all your dreams this year..
I wish you ...
blah blah blah...

Happy 2005!!
Ooopss!!!

I guess, that was my laaaaast new year!!!

I have to admit,
I have not had anymore 'happy' new years!!!

That was my last one.
Rest are just years!!!

And now, it's 2009
One more year, to the list!!!

I wish....

2009-01-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

I wish I could turn back and not look into my life..

I wish to elope into the woods...
to blend with nature...
live wild...
with no inhibitions...
like any other animal...

I wish to fly away...
In search of peace...
In search of the eternal truth.

I wish...

Let's part...

2008-11-03T14:49:00.001-08:00

Let's part
with no hard feelings...

Let's part
knowing we are not
made for each other...

Let's part
hurting no more...

Let's part
not hating each other...

Let's part
to smile at each other...

Let's part
before I fill this blog
with the hatred for you!!!

So please,
let's part!!!!

?????!!!!

2008-10-31T13:00:00.000-07:00

Abc786 : where have u been?
Xyz234 : Sorry, I'm cooking.
Abc786 : Oh..
I miss you.
Xyz234 : tell me..
Abc786 : I think u r busy.
Xyz234 : No.. I will cook later.
I'm sorry.
Abc786 : It's ok..
Xyz234 : I love you
Abc786 : I too love you dear.
Please dont go away from me.
Xyz234 : I will not.. i kept everything aside just for you...
Abc786 : It's becoz I love you dear.
Xyz234 : I know that.. I'm all your's darling.
I love you.
I can't tell you how special you are to me.

Xyz234 : u there???
helloooooooo
where r you?
Abc786 : I will catch you later dear..
My wife is upset.
bye... Love you.
Abc786 signed out.
Xyz234 : ??????????????????!!!!
Hmmmmmmm.....

I loved...

2008-10-31T12:33:00.000-07:00

I loved winter,
So did he...

I loved flowers,
So did he...

I loved chocolates,
So did he...

I loved books,
So did he...

I loved music,
So did he...

I loved rain,
So did he...

I loved him,
But he din't!!!

2008-10-31T11:45:00.000-07:00

Let me dream...
Let me write...
All about you!
Because,
That's all I can do now!!!

Nobody knows....

2008-10-31T09:16:00.000-07:00

You fight, I fight...
You love, I love...

She fights, he fights..
She loves, he loves..

You fight with your mate..
I fight with my spouse...

She fights with you..
He fights with me..

You love me..
I love You..

She loves someone..
He loves someone..

Then, what is the 'funda' of marriage????!!!
Nobody knows...

'Funda' - An Indian word which means 'Idea'