Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I'm happy.
And you make me cry.

I'm happy.
And you make me cry again.

It still goes on ...

It seems like you
don't want me to be happy at all.

One day, very soon,
I'll make you cry, forever...

And then, I'll become happy, forever.

So beware! I feel the day is not so far.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

People ask questions
not to know more about you..

But to let you know
they know all about you !

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I gave my heart to him.
And he lost it somewhere.

Since then, I'm on the
search for it. To get it back.

Hope I will find it soon.
Or I'll have to become
heartless from now on.

The choice is mine
for he doesn't care about it anymore!
I cried today.
All because of you.

Because of the way
you smiled at me,
making me feel that
I'm not in your heart anymore !
You don't know the
deep and dark voidness I'm in.

Even if you knew,
there is nothing you could do.

So why should I let you know?!
You are out of it.
I could feel it.

But I'm going deep into it ...
the more I feel it.

Myself to be blamed !
I enjoy my loneliness now.
I spend time with your thoughts.
There is none to interrupt me.
Not even you.

I enjoy my loneliness with you …
without your presence !
'It's hard to meet you as a stranger.'
You said once.

And now you behave
as if I don't exist at all.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Don't give me that sarcastic smile !

I know you are smiling or
even laughing at me now.

I've to admit.
I'm a fool that
I've fallen in love !

You told me once.
"You don't even know me!"

You have only seen
that side of love.
Knowing each other well
and then falling in love
or rather entering a pact of love.

But there's another side to love.

And that's why it's widely known as
'falling in love.'

But you would never know that
because you have never 'fallen in love'!
I'm surrendering,
for I can't win my heart back.
I've played and lost the game with you !
My friend said.

"If I were a guy, I would
have snatched you from him.
And given you a baby.
And sent you for PTA meetings."

I laughed.

Then I thought.

'Good that you are not a guy.
For I would have lost you as a lover.
Atleast you are there as a friend.'
It's not as hard as I thought.

This multi-tasking !

My trials to forget you
and of cherishing you
at the same time.
You closed the doors.
Just seeing me outside.

I was only passing by.
Never intended to come in
and stay with you.

For you had already told me
Not to expect anything more !
You became a bait
for my thoughts.

And my words !

I feel sorry for you.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It's sunny again.

Everything seems perfect.
Like I never met you.

But I know
there is an imperfection
in that perfection!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I remember.

That day you felt bad
to drop me at some stop
because you were late for office.

Another day you dint
feel bad to stop calling
me just like that.

And I felt bad!
I never woke up next to you.
But I did.

I never shared a dessert with you.
But I did.

I never watched movies cuddling with you.
But I did.

I never went for long drives with you.
But I did.

I never did a million things with you.
But I did.

Yes. I did it all
in my secret thoughts.
I did it all in my secret world!

Oscar Wilde said:

'Prayer must never be answered:
if it is, it ceases to be prayer and
becomes correspondence.'

So I do not pray anymore.
The 'HE' has changed finally.
But why is the 'I' not changed?!

Still can't figure out!

Monday, June 15, 2009

I've made enough reasons
not to think about you.

I'm sick of finding reasons now.
For all I do is think about you.

Now I should try something different.
So that I stop brooding over you.
I'm far from you.
Still feel close to you.

Is it my fault?

You came like a hurricane
and swept away my heart,
leaving my soul in the ruins.
Now you come like a lazy
breeze, to keep a check on me.

To see me smile at you
when I'm actually suffering from the loss!
I had a hair-cut.
And to my surprise
you too had a hair-cut.

You were looking nice.
But you never
bothered at my new look.

Neither of us wanted
to show each other anymore.

Or where we
trying to show that
we are happy in our own lives?!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

I hate BMW's.
There are too many here.
They are everywhere I go.

Never noticed it before !

Friday, June 12, 2009

It seems the sun doesn't
want to go down here.

It's still shining brightly
like my hopes in life !
And I feel wonderful
seeing the sun, smiling at me.

I know it is trying
to make me smile too.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

This is the chocolate mousse
you said, you would make for me.
I never had a chance to have it.

But I must say.

'It's delicious!
So were the moments
we spent together.'
You are just a child.
You don’t know the
art of avoidance!
When your words
blocked your voice,
I realized it!

Do you remember?
I dint let you explain
for I knew, that would be hard for you.

If you don’t know how to avoid,
look at me, I will show you.
I’ve practiced it
for years, though I dint wish to.
It’s an art where you hurt yourself.
I’ve mastered it over the years!

It’s not easy, I’m telling you.
The art of Avoidance !!!
Some are very practical in life.
And some don’t know what it is!

It is said,
those who are practical
succeed in life, forgetting the past.
And those who are not,
fill their blogs with
childish cries and
despair filled words.

Big Deal!
The damage is done.
So why can’t I have the liberty
to fill my own blog.

Atleast, I don’t have to ask you.
I pressed my nose
on the pillow to get your smell.
But in vain, reminiscing
the fragrance of your sweaty hair.
I pressed my hands
on my heart to suppress the grief.
But in vain, holding your
memories in myself.

I pressed my lips
on each other to hold my cries.
But in vain, sobbing
like a child on your rejection.

I became the culprit.
And you became the good boy.
Well, this had to happen
sooner or later !
I have a heart.
Perhaps like your's.

You treated me
like a friend initially.
But never knew
would forget me as a stranger!

I too get hurt.
Perhaps more than you.
But it's fine.
I will deal with it.

For I don't want
to give you more pressures.
It's so easy to see, meet,
fall in love and then break up...

Never knew it was so easy..
Atleast for you !

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

It rained here heavily today.
No one knew it was the
tears I shed for him.
Oh! It doesn't matter,
for he too din't know !

Let it rain..
Till I feel calm.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I saw a bajaj scooter
passing by today.
A very rare sight on the
cobbled streets of Brussels.
A man with his daughter
was on it, her little hands
tightly around his waist.

My dad too, has a bajaj scooter.
The one in which I've had
a lot of incredible rides.

It is still there, parked
on a corner of my house.
Not used very often now.
When my new black car
took over the garage,
it silently wept, I guess.
But I still miss that bajaj scooter
and the rides with my dad,
tightly holding my hands
around his waist !!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I smiled looking
at his childlike face.
I simply smiled.

He asked me
why I was smiling?
I simply smiled again.
Why do you have
to ask me this everytime?

There are a million hidden
dreams and feelings in those smiles.
Those are things I'll never tell you ...
For I know, you are not mine.

So just see me smile
looking at your childlike face.