Sunday, May 31, 2009

I haven't watched
TV since yesterday...
I haven't read the
newspapers since yesterday...
I wouldn't dare to
for I do not want to see
your soulless body,
your frozen blue face!

Let me remember you
as my dearest 'aami' ...
I remember your twinkling eyes..
I remember your smell..
I remember your embrace..
I remember your words..
I remember your smiles..
I remember your naughty comments...
I remember everything about you!
I cried for hours
and it made me feel better.

I've missed you all these years.
I will miss you all coming years.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I hate the corporate world.
Oh God!
Please don't push me into it.
I have never understood
the agendas, targets,
diplomacy or politics.
I do not wish to understand them.

Let me be happy in my world
where words come alive,
birds play around me,
flowers allure me with it's fragnance,
where dreams come alive
and urge me to write...
I feel the bliss here.
I'm happy here.
Oh God!
Please dont snatch this amazing world from me.
We played a game.
We set the rules too.

'Why did you get worried?
I know the rules,
I haven't forgotten them.'
(Though I would love to!)
'Come, let's play again.
So that I see your
excitement like a small boy.
But I must say,
you are tempting me
to forget the rules.'

Maybe he knew it.
Because he din't come
to play with me again!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


He offered me a chocolate.
I said, 'No, Thanks.'
'But you love chocolates?!' he said
'Yes, I do.' And I did not explain.
I watched him eat his chocolate all by himself.
I did not feel tempted.
(I wanted to laugh)

But I just smiled.

I simply thought to myself.

"Did he not know that
the things you love the most
should be enjoyed very slowly?
If I have it all day and night,
I will stop loving it.
And I want to enjoy chocolates forever! "

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I sense something fishy.
Or is that I don't have the
mere common sense to grasp his thoughts?!

Aahh! it seems I don't have
the sensibility to sense
even the most intelligible ideas!

..that senseless I've become.

If I want...

I can call you now.
I can text you.

Type and send msgs like...

'I love you'
'I miss you'
'I can't live without you'
'Yours forever'
But I wont.

Because ...
only your number is familiar to me now.
You've become unfamiliar to me.
But I still cherish the familiar 'you' in me.

Monday, May 25, 2009

I lost my 'self ' long back.

A monster, I became.
Insane to the core.
Yelling and cribbing
my head on small things.
Loosing temper so quickly
that I could not control.

I was not like this.
I remember.

I feel calm and peaceful now.
I can see my 'self ' on the mirror.

I'm at peace..... ... .. .
I feel like writing a million lines about you, but I will not.

You know it all.
Today I discovered... 'I'm beautiful!'

Thanks to you... I felt it after years !

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I wish ...
I did not have to see
jets crawling in the sky.

I wish ...
they did not leave white trails
for me to stare for hours.

Even if I had to see them,
why can't they vanish in a wink?!

I miss home !!!
He called me a saddist.
I did not deny.For,
I enjoy pleasure in pain.

But he never understood
I enjoy the pleasure in my pain.
Not other's !!!


Emily burnt like the cigarette between her shivering fingers. She was shivering head to toe as she sat next to the window, looking outside at the lonely park. It was a cold breezy night.
She casually thought about her first meeting with Ed. So passionate, that they did not wait for a second chance to kiss. It was again a cold night. She was wearing a light jacket that couldn’t resist the rude weather.

‘One can’t trust the Belgian weather.’ Ed said, as he smiled looking at her sparkling eyes. That was his first conversation with Emily. ‘One can’t trust a man’s mind’, she now thought.

As Emily searched for the pack of cigarettes for the next smoke, she could see a young lad staring at her, not realizing that she was not there at the window for a catch late in the night. She looked at him for a while and looked away at the sleeping urban jungle.

Cities are not so scary like the countryside at night, where Emily grew up. They are beautifully illuminated even at night though you can expect the worst nightmare. But the first night with Ed was not scary but memorable, like rest of the days and nights that followed. Those days were very beautiful that their six year old son, Mathew was now silently sleeping in Emily’s bedroom, believing his mother was sleeping close to him.

Emily felt her tears rolling down her cheeks. But when she tried to wipe it off, she realized there were no tears. She was not left with enough energy to cry more. She had cried all her life till now, after Ed had left Emily and Mathew when he was just six months old. He had not ditched both of them, but had gone to follow his dreams to become an accomplished writer.

Emily visited bookshops regularly to search for the name, ‘Edward John’ among the new comers list. She even tried in the best selling lists restlessly, if she had missed his previous books. But never found Ed’s name or books. She had been sighing, weeping and crying since then.

‘Let me write my first thoughts ever. Hope you will like it, Ed.’ Emily thought while she walked to the dining table. Everything was ready for her to start writing. Papers and pen had been set long since she had been thinking of writing to Ed.

Emily had been waiting for the right moment to begin that creative process. And finally, here it was! It was a cold, breezy and silent night. Everything was perfect now.

Emily took the pen and began writing, a task which had never tried before.

Dear Ed,

Here is my first ever writing, only for you.

You always wanted to be my first lover.
I wanted you to be my last lover.

I played passionately and won.

I love you

Yours forever,


While Emily wrote her name, her hand was shivering and weak, not because of the freezing night, this time. She was bleeding to death while her right hand drenched in blood. Emily was soaked to her skin in red making her beautiful face, pale now.

She played and won passionately. Indeed.


I wish ...

everyone else froze
for a few minutes,

So that ...

I could hug you tightly
and kiss your lips passionately !
I cried today.

Not because
I was missing him.

Not because
I was lonely.

Not because
I was wasting days.

Not because
I wanted to release my tensions.

Not because
I was away from my goals.

Not because
I wanted to break free from relations.

But I cried.

Cried because
I felt like crying !!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

'Dream is an illusion'

Who said so?!
I'm telling you...

Dream is an illusion for
those who can't dream in life !!!

For me,
dreams show a parallel world
where I'm happy always...

No matter whatever
worst happens around !!!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I think I'm in love with you.
But you dont have to worry.

I can handle it by myself!
(I meant, you don't have
to run away from me.)
Long ago...
there lived an old man.
People called him 'insane'
For he slept on the streets
and had no worries still.
He lived with the 'cents'
thrown at him by the rich.

On a bright sunny day,
he was watching a couple.
He smiled at them,
and sang a love song.
A little girl came upto him
and asked, "What is love?"

He carelessly replied:

'They say love has no boundaries.
Yes, it has no boundaries when one
asks for commitment in love.
So dear, choose a man who has
love and boundaries in life !!!'